Archive for the Stalker Category

Once you go normal, you’ll never go back

Posted in Ex-Girlfriends, Lesbian Dating, Stalker on October 12, 2009 by Just A Girl

“Once you go normal, you’ll never go back.”  Words of advice I received from a friend after an especially trying week with ex’s.      

Since the whole race car bed incident, I have totally ignored all communication from Kristy – I’m talking numerous spams of emails, phone calls, and text messages.  Obviously, she’s aware that I’m ignoring her, yet she continues.  So I’m resigned to admitting I have a stalker.  We live in the same neighborhood, and I suspect at some point I will run into her out and about, just as my friends have.  Out of fear of this ever happening – I have conceded the battle of the neighborhood to Kristy.  She gets the grocery store, the favorite restaurants, the manicurist, etc.  Please note…it was no biggie to switch my grocery store to Ralph’s – as I’m still hoping to see the hottie checker again. 

As for Callie…my friend had to talk off the metaphorical “ledge” with her this week.  It had been a couple of weeks since I ended things, but I was still getting a ton of texts from her.  I was so freakin’ happy because I thought that I had actually transitioned into the friend-zone with an ex.  Yay me!  Things were going along fabulous, until the sexts started coming again, and then the emotional texts.  She wanted to talk on the phone, at which time I desperately tried to explain why I didn’t think we would work.  I felt myself getting weak, and after a very LONG phone conversion, I began to consider giving this another shot.  So here I was again, talking to an ex, knowing damn well it won’t work, but me considering going back for more to “fix” things.  Yes, that’s me…I’m a “fixer.”  Thankfully, a friend was able to shake me back to reality. 

See I’ve never had “normal”, so here I am…continuing to patiently wait for it.  Yes, I know…I might be waiting for a long ass time.

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I walked into that one…

Posted in Ex-Girlfriends, Stalker on September 26, 2009 by Just A Girl

So one of my best friends calls me and asks a favor.  Jack used to have a “race car” toddler bed, that Kristy and I took up to her friend’s vacation home The Casa – to leave up there for him when we visited.  When we split, I asked Kristy to bring the bed back the next time she was up there for my friend – for her little boy.  So my friend asked me to ask Kristy again about getting the bed (which btw is a totally awesome bed).  I reluctantly asked Kristy again.  My bad…

Me:  Hi…I wanted to check with you about Jack’s old race car bed.  Tommy is ready for a big boy bed, and I had told Emily they could have it.   Is this something that you could bring back the next time you’re up at The Casa?

Kristy:  Sorry—I already got rid of it.  It has been over 6-months and you never mentioned that as a plan or I would have kept if for Emily/Tommy.

Me:  I’m pretty sure I mentioned this to you…that i intended to give it to them and if you could bring it back from The Casa when you were up there.  I don’t know…seems like you would check in with me before giving my things away?  No?

Kristy:  You are so right.  I am so sorry that I was insensitive by giving your belongings away.  Is there anything I can do to make it up to?

Me:  No worries…

Kristy:  LOL

Me:  LOL?

Kristy:  Guess I was laughing because you thought I was serious??

At my wits end, I sent her the following message – which is a Mental Health Hotline number…

Me:  1-800-969-6642

Kristy:  LOL—I have the race car bed at The Casa.  I was just kidding.  Let me know when you can pick it up?

I know, I know…I walked right into that one.  I actually thought for split second that she actually was capable of accountability and sensitivity.  I was wrong and damn me for letting her do it again!


…for worse

Posted in Ex-Girlfriends, Parenting, Single Parent, Stalker on September 3, 2009 by Just A Girl

Apparently I am a masochist.  After a few decent (not nice, but decent) text requests from Kristy to see Jack – I caved.

Kristy picked Jack up from pre-school and then I told her that I would come by that evening and pick him up from her house.  She asked me not to come to the door, but rather text her from outside to let her know that I was there…whatever, I agreed.  All in all the exchange had no drama to speak of.  Me, the eternal optimist, actually had high hopes that we could function as mature adults.

So Jack said he had a good time with Kristy and her friends, but he was kind of bent out of shape by a 5-year-old girl that was also over at her house.  I asked him if he’d like to go visit Kristy again and he said, “Only if that 5 year old isn’t there!”  He went on to tell me about how she was mean to him, etc. etc.

So the following weekend rolls around and I get an email from Kristy…this is how it went down:

K: Could I have Jack again?

Me: When were you thinking?

K: Do you have him this weekend?

Me: Yes

K: Maybe tomorrow night?

Me: Jack had a hard time with the 5 year old that was with you guys last week.  Not sure all the details with that, but he asked to not hang out with her again.  Is that something you can work with?

K: That’s a pretty interesting request coming from a 4-yr-old.  I wonder why he continued to play with her the whole night without complaint then???  Have a good weekend.

Jesus…I know she’s a bitch, but she can’t even fake it for a week!?!?!  I have to be strong and get her the fuck out of our lives…she’s such a drain.  Arggg!

After a bitch session with my best friend, she reminded me of the following guidelines that I NEED to remember when I’m feeling weak again:

1.  Any response from you is considered a success by Kristy.
2.  Nothing positive will come from any contact with Kristy.
3.  Any response is considered encouragement to her to continue peppering you with communications.
4.  She will not change behaviors just because you would like her to, no matter how rational you think it would be for her to do so.