Archive for the Femme Category

Leaving the Stones unturned

Posted in Butch, Coming Out, Ex-Girlfriends, Femme, Lesbian Dating, Sex on August 31, 2009 by Just A Girl

“What’s your type?”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked this by women since I’ve been an out lesbian.  As a “straight” woman, I don’t recall anyone ever asking me if I was into men that are more sporty, or slightly more feminine, or about there sexual tendencies?  I mean really…for a group that balks at being stereotyped, we sure do have our fair share of internal pigeonholing going on.

Begrudgingly, I did a categorical analysis of myself and what I think I’m attracted to.  Of course there are a bazillion different labels, but I decided to start with the top 6 that I came across:
butchfemme
1.  Butch: A woman who adopts what would be considered masculine characteristics.

2.  Stone Butch: A stone butch is a Butch who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She does not like to be touched sexually.

3.  Soft Butch/Chapstick Lesbian: A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.

4.  Sport Dyke: A sport dyke is a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete. She may also dress in a manner that would give the impression she is an athlete, like baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.

5.  Blue Jean Femme: A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.

6.  Lipstick Lesbian/Femme: A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side.

I think my physicality falls somewhere between a Blue Jean Femme and a Lipstick Lesbian – as much as I gag at the thought of referring to myself as a L.L.  Personality wise, I’m thinking I am more of a Soft Butch.

Who I’m attracted to – that’s a whole other question mark.  Kristy was a Sport Dyke (with a butch personality); Laura was Blue Jean femme (with a Lipstick personality).  And, then of course there is my loves Anne, Penelope, and Jennifer (in PretendVille) who are all flaming Femmes physically.

The more I think about, I don’t know that I can commit to an attraction label.  I think that I might lean toward Blue Jean Femme-ish.  But, there are tons of Soft Butches and Lipsticks that have totally sent me over the edge.

Ok…I’ll commit to this:  I’m generally not attracted to super Butchy girls (and mos def not to a Stone Butch).