Archive for the Butch Category

Crossing Paths

Posted in Butch, Ex-Girlfriends, Lesbian Dating, Single Parent on January 10, 2010 by Just A Girl

I am back from my unofficial hiatus.  Let’s see…the last month or so was filled with baby daddy drama (of course), delightful woo’ing with the new lady friend, visits with family, etc.  It was a hectic holiday, but I think I’ve almost recovered.

There are many stories to share, but I’ll start with this one… 

Jack’s dad canceled on his holiday visit with him, so Jack was unexpectedly with me on New Year’s Eve.  I adjusted my plans and Andy was a total trooper and made do with what we had.  We had a fabulous New Year’s Eve!  So…the next morning, we went out for a mid-morning brunch.  (I live in a large Southern California city, so the likelihood of running into peeps out and about, is somewhat slim.  But, of course…those odds don’t apply to me).  As I pull over to park, with Andy in the passenger seat…who is walking by but Cali (the butch I recently dated briefly).  Please note that about two weeks prior to this encounter, Cali sent me several texts trying to get in my pants again.  So Cali waves (with her date on her arm), and I wave back.  I did NOT, in any way, want to introduce Cali and Andy.  So what did I do…I totally panicked.  I just sat there in the car, while Andy is asking “Who was that?” as she could obviously see my frazzle.  So Cali kind of stalled on the street, while I kept on sitting there.  Eventually, she moved on, and then I got out of the car.  WTF is wrong with me?  Who does that?  Well, unfortunately my reaction was read by Andy as if I was hiding something…which I totally wasn’t, but I could mos def see why she would see that.  After explaining it all..it was all good, but I acted like a total ru-tard! 

Anywho…that was one of my lovely holiday adventures…more recaps to come.

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Carrie Bradshaw Moment…

Posted in Butch, Ex-Girlfriends, Lesbian Dating, Sex on September 25, 2009 by Just A Girl

I didn’t want to count my chickens before they hatched – hence the reason I was holding back on sharing too much about the butch woman that I have been seeing for the past 3 weeks.  Well…my chickens cracked their eggs a little, but never hatched. 

Callie is cute, smart, funny, and holy *@#^ in the bedroom…but, there was a gut feeling that I had – a feeling that I am infamous for ignoring in previous relationships.  I couldn’t put my finger on it…just an intuition of sorts.  Please remember the state of my life right now:  ongoing custody battle with my ex-husband, I just lost my job, and what seems to be a never ending bitch-battle from my ex, Kristy.  The LAST thing I need in my life right now is additional drama. 

I was really beginning to feel the familiar feeling, when it was confirmed…

As it turns out, Callie – the sexy butch that I started to fall for – was incredibly kind, but far too insecure and dramatic for me.   carrie bradshaw 

So in my Carrie Bradshaw moment, I say to myself, “Am I at the age where all the single women out there are either taken or crazy?  Is there hope for me?”

To be continued…

Posted in Butch, Lesbian Dating on September 12, 2009 by Just A Girl

Of course…right after I make the bold statement that I’m not so much attracted to butch-ish women…I fall for one.  WTF?  So I renig…I take it back.  A butch woman totally has my juices flowing! 

I’m sure she’s crazy – because aren’t all women crazy!?!?  I know, I know…totally jaded, but I’m trying to get beyond that.  I’m hesitant to state too much about this yet…so this post is mos def a “to be continued.”

Leaving the Stones unturned

Posted in Butch, Coming Out, Ex-Girlfriends, Femme, Lesbian Dating, Sex on August 31, 2009 by Just A Girl

“What’s your type?”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked this by women since I’ve been an out lesbian.  As a “straight” woman, I don’t recall anyone ever asking me if I was into men that are more sporty, or slightly more feminine, or about there sexual tendencies?  I mean really…for a group that balks at being stereotyped, we sure do have our fair share of internal pigeonholing going on.

Begrudgingly, I did a categorical analysis of myself and what I think I’m attracted to.  Of course there are a bazillion different labels, but I decided to start with the top 6 that I came across:
butchfemme
1.  Butch: A woman who adopts what would be considered masculine characteristics.

2.  Stone Butch: A stone butch is a Butch who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She does not like to be touched sexually.

3.  Soft Butch/Chapstick Lesbian: A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.

4.  Sport Dyke: A sport dyke is a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete. She may also dress in a manner that would give the impression she is an athlete, like baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.

5.  Blue Jean Femme: A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.

6.  Lipstick Lesbian/Femme: A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side.

I think my physicality falls somewhere between a Blue Jean Femme and a Lipstick Lesbian – as much as I gag at the thought of referring to myself as a L.L.  Personality wise, I’m thinking I am more of a Soft Butch.

Who I’m attracted to – that’s a whole other question mark.  Kristy was a Sport Dyke (with a butch personality); Laura was Blue Jean femme (with a Lipstick personality).  And, then of course there is my loves Anne, Penelope, and Jennifer (in PretendVille) who are all flaming Femmes physically.

The more I think about, I don’t know that I can commit to an attraction label.  I think that I might lean toward Blue Jean Femme-ish.  But, there are tons of Soft Butches and Lipsticks that have totally sent me over the edge.

Ok…I’ll commit to this:  I’m generally not attracted to super Butchy girls (and mos def not to a Stone Butch).