Walk of Shame

I am really ending 2009 with some pretty significant embarrassing moments.  I thought that I met my quota with the infamous toot incident…alas, I was mistaken…again. 

Andy, the woman that I have been seeing, invited me to a birthday party for one of her friends.  We had a blast – dancing…drinking…pit stop at the porno shop – we had a really good night.  We left my car at her friends house (near the bar), so that we could crash on their couch and not have to drive home.  A great idea in theory… 

Here is where I now have to begin to rely on 3rd party recollection.  Andy and I were crashed out on the couch, when I apparently I got up and told her I was going to the bathroom.  I walked down the hall into an open door.  I entered into the bedroom of her friend Lisa and her wife Michelle’s bedroom.  Lisa was awake watching TV.  Again, “apparently” I walked in and began mumbling to the bed post and wandering around.  Lisa immediately recognized that I was sleepwalking and decided to make the most of the situation.  She asked me some questions and then ended with “Do you want to get in bed with us?”  This is when I begin to have some memory of the situation.  I remember looking down and seeing “Andy” (who was actually Michelle, but they both have black hair and she was lying on her stomach).  So naturally, I told “Andy” to scoot over.  As I nudged her, she woke up and looked at me and yelled “What the fuck are you doing?!?!”  I immediately came to at this point and realized that I was attempting to get into bed with my girl’s friend and her wife.  I was totally confused by what happened; I basically ran out of the room and woke up the real the Andy and we bailed.  

The rest of the night and the next morning I was mortified by what I had done.  I mean, really…who does that?  Then Andy got a text from Lisa, explaining that she was totally fucking with me, because she knew that I wasn’t awake.  Thank god! 

I have a gut feeling that I will never live this one down. 

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