Code of Silence

Hi.  My name is Just A. Girl, and I am a farter. 

We’ve all been in relationships when the inevitable happens…when the toot code of silence is broken.  We suffer through those weeks, months, and for some (obviously, not me)…years where we clench our cheeks or discreetly excuse ourselves to the other room.  Then there is the “reversies” (the result of holding a fart in so long that it back-fires up in your stomach) often played off as a stomach growl…wink, wink.  I mean, really?  Who are we fooling? 

Because I’m a farter (always have been, and likely always will be) it is usually me that is the first to break the code of silence.  I am infamous for slooting (sleep-tooting) early on in a relationship.  It is always mortifying doing this, but really I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s gonna happen – a girl like me can only hold it in for so long.  

Well, I learned the hard way that slooting is actually not mortifying…what’s mortifying is letting one slip out when your lady friend is downstairs.  Yes, you heard me right.  Apparently, when you let your body release with orgasm, something else might release as well.  I thought I was going to fucking die with embarrassment!  

So apparently I’m “that girl”…I will forever be the girl that farted in her face. 

Damn…I’m a catch! 

fart shirt

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3 Responses to “Code of Silence”

  1. VERRRRRRRRY classy, my friend! Remind me to never try that tactic with Mr. White…

  2. O.M.G.
    That is one of my biggest fears.
    How’d she handle it?

  3. She was willing to see me again, so that’s a good sign. So we were hanging out (a few days after the incident) and Jack crop-dusted her…she made some comment about him taking after his mom. LOL…

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