Ultimatum…I don’t think so!

I rounded the last corner driving to my ex-husband’s house, and like every time…that last right turn of the steering wheel is as if I’m turning up the dial on my anxiety level.  My ex is predictable in his un-predictability, if nothing else and I know I have to prepare myself for this.

To my surprise his sprawling lot is littered with a crib, a work out gym, a washer and dryer, couches, desks, toys, clothes, lamps, a dune buggy, a scooter, bikes….and a storage POD.  Every space of his roundabout driveway is covered with his multitude of vehicles:   2 Cadillac’s, a vintage Corvette Stingray, a supped up Dodge Ram, a Toyota truck, among others.  My anxiety turned to confusion with the site of the overwhelming visual stimulation.  My confusion then turned to joy as I saw my sons almost 3- year old half-brother run out to greet me with flowers (picked off the front landscaping) and a smile.  Jack and Randall walk away hand in hand into the care of Jack’s step-mom, Amy off in the distance.

I’m not sure I have the energy at this hour to delve into the entire complexity of my relationship with Amy, so I’ll offer just a bit at this point.  Approximately, 6 years ago I hired my best friend’s roommate at the company that my husband and I owned.  I don’t have the exact date that her affair with my husband began, but the moment I realized it will forever be burned into my memory.  We were at a work celebratory function and she avoided eye contact with me at all costs.  It was like in the movies when the main character finally “gets it” and all of those past moments all suddenly make sense.  Their affair produced a child, they separated, we formed an alliance in our “victimhood”, they reunited, our alliance disbanded, they married, and had another child.  She is the primary caregiver for my son when my son is with his father, yet in the past 4 ½ years she has maintained her refusal to make eye contact with me.  There are moments that I pity her, because I was her – a victim too afraid to set myself free, but then I remember that she lied on the stand during one of my custody hearings and this pity quickly dissipates.  Whether it is shame, sorrow, or whatever it is…she is someone that I share more than I care to in common with.

Back to where I was.  So I ask John via text “Are you moving?”  This question I ask, not believing that the possibility of having him that out of our lives is so close to my finger-tips.  Ahhhhh…I get the answer I’ve dreamt of for years…he is moving, in less than a week no less.  Mid-happy dance around my living room I am interrupted by the siren of my text message go off again…the ultimatum.   If I don’t agree with his proposed custody plan (that he apparently came up with in his stint in “as if” land) then he will take me to court ex-parte this week.

Bring it on mother fucker!

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One Response to “Ultimatum…I don’t think so!”

  1. Grrrr! I LOATHE him! I’d apologize for encouraging you to hire her, but it would have happened with someone else eventually regardless. (sigh) Love you, friend!

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