The Birds and The Bees (and the birds and the birds)

I was 8 when I found out.  I was “that kid” that ran back to school and told everyone that wanted to listen.  “You stick a penis in a vagina to make a baby!”  I suddenly became the most popular girl at school with this wealth of information – information courtesy of my 12 and 13-year old cousins.

I assumed that at some point my parents would try to have “the talk” with me, but my pre-teens came and went, then my teens…and the talk never came.  I am determined to be more open and honest with my child than my parents were with me, but never did I suspect that I would be having “the talk” with my 4-½ year old son.the birds and bees

So here I am driving home from pre-school with my little man in the back and I hear, “Mom…daddy told me that you stick a penis in a vagina to make a baby.”  I look in the rear view mirror and he’s showing me how it’s done:  the pointed finger on one hand, into the circled fingers on the other hand.  So then he goes on, “See mom, two vagina’s can’t make a baby (as he’s banging together two circled hands).”  This is the sex education you receive from a homophobic narcissistic father.

I was not prepared for this conversation…not at all.  Thankfully I was behind the wheel for another 5 minutes, so that I could have that prep time.  So when we got home I busted out the art supplies.  If I was gonna have “the talk” it wasn’t going to be half-ass!

I had a diagram for male/female procreation, another one for female/female/doctor-provided-spermies-in-a-cup procreation, and lastly male/male/female-helper-with-a-uterus procreation….yeah, all those years of art classes really paid off!


2 Responses to “The Birds and The Bees (and the birds and the birds)”

  1. fortunate feet Says:

    I want to see your art projects…hope you kept them!! Maybe you can publish a book for kids!

  2. My mom is a lesbian and my father was pretty supportive, in the same way that your ex supports you so lovingly (sarcasm!). I’m pretty sure that, at some point, I got his version of that conversation. I wish that I could have had your version afterwords! Awesome parenting!

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