For better, or worse…

It’s been a rough go of it with Kristy and my son.  When we lived together there was no sense of family.  It was always me and Jack, or me and Kristy.  Never was it “us.”  I understand that step-family scenarios can be hard.  Perhaps I expected too much, perhaps I let too much slide…I have to accept some fault for the situation that we became. 

When I moved out, Kristy told me that she wasn’t sure she wanted to maintain a relationship with Jack and proceeded to express minimal interest in seeing him.  On the occasion when she would ask to see him, it was always with some rude or intrusive overtone…but, I accepted that this is how it would be.  “Why can’t I see him on Tuesday?”  And, when I refused to give her a reason, she would not take my alternative offers of other days.  To me, it felt like if it wasn’t on her terms, then it wouldn’t be at all.  This happened time and time again. 

I came to realize that her interest in seeing him had little to do with actually seeing him.  After months and months of soul searching and months and months of my friends telling me to cut her out of my life…I finally did so.  

I didn’t want to be one of those women that withhold their child from someone to hurt them…I think I was so paranoid of being that person that I tolerated her rude, and down right mean relationship for way too long.  

In the end…my son isn’t interested in seeing her…if he was – it would be an entirely different story.  But, he’s over her.  She was so harsh and he saw it…he’s a bright boy that understands a lot more than he’s often given credit for.  When I ask him if he’d like to see Kristy or call her, his response is always the same, “tomorrow.”  When I ask him the next day, his response again, “tomorrow.”  

In the end, my son is faced with challenges above and beyond what the average kid is faced with, so her negativity and cruelty is not welcome in our lives.   I will continue to struggle with this decision that I have made, but I know that this is how it has to be.


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